Unbound Coaching

Back before we had maps on our phones, I was traveling back to Tennessee from Cincinnati when I got off of the interstate in Louisville to stretch my legs and get something to eat. I got a little too deep into the city and realized I wasn’t quite sure how to get back to the interstate. I pulled out my road atlas, but the atlas couldn’t tell me where I was to begin with. I could see the right road, and I knew that I was lost, off the course from where I wanted to be, but I couldn’t connect the dots to get from here to there.

Now, we have computers on our phones and can easily open an app and see that blinking dot that shows us, you are here. The Enneagram works like that blinking dot to help us know where to start.

Many personality systems tell you who you are, while the Enneagram process helps you see the patterns that we have built to try to help us find identity, security, or justice. We tend to develop this pattern or reactive coping mechanisms as a way to avoid what we fear and run toward what we long for or believe will fulfill those needs.

But those patterns lead us to over-focus on small parts of our experience and miss the big picture.

What if we could better understand the automatic system that we so often react out of, and learn how to pause so we can  choose to respond in ways that were more thoughtful and aware? What if, in understanding the ways lens through which we see the world, we could find balance and stop driving around the block trying to find the right road?

The Enneagram shines a light on 9 typical patterns. Here’s a brief overview:

Type 1s are often called The Reformer and believe: If I focus on being moral, responsible and avoid making mistakes, then I am okay.

Type 2s are often called The Helper and believe: If I focus on being loving and thoughtful toward others and avoid being selfish, then I am okay.

Type 3s are often called The Achiever and believe:  If I focus on being effective, competent, professional and avoid becoming or being seen as idle or inadequate, then I am okay.

Type 4s are often called The Individualist and believe: If I focus on being original, creative and authentic and avoid being ordinary or boring, then I am okay.

Type 5s are often called The Observer and believe: If I focus on being knowledgeable and autonomous and avoid being driven by emotions or found without wisdom, then I am okay.

Type 6s are often called The Loyal Skeptic and believe: If I focus on being loyal, reliable and consistent, and avoid being seen as untrustworthy or difficult, then I am okay.

Type 7s are often called The Enthusiastic Optimist and believe: If I focus on being optimistic and joyful, and avoid being trapped, then I am okay.

Type 8s are often called The Challenger and believe: If I focus on having power and being in control, and avoid being not weak, then I am okay.

Type 9s are often called the Peacemaker and believe: If I focus on keeping the peace and accepting others and avoid being pushy or ambitious, then I am okay.

Understanding our pattern and how it’s showing up in our lives, at work and in our relationships gives us the space to step back and see what it’s keeping us from. Stepping back helps us notice more clearly and gives us more options to reach past the coping strategies that aren’t working anymore so we can move forward in a way that’s more aligned with our values.